#I have no interest in spending one of my rare days off with my abusive brother

[sudsyjellyfish]

Preparing for an unpleasant convo with my mom by sitting on my bedroom floor cuddling my build a bear frog. I don’t remember any specific examples, but this feels like something I’ve done a million times

[alpydk]

So BPD/EUPD (my essay)

I said I'd make a post - Not BG3 related in any way, so ignore if you're not interested in that. - Warning it's long. -

Also TW (sui, s/h, MH...etc...)

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) / EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder)

I only got diagnosed in 2022 - late for most who get this, but looking over my life, there are a lot of big red flags that show I should've got diagnosed earlier. Going to be from my life with it, can't speak for the others with it, so hey, this is how it is for me. Like all illnesses - It's A sPeCTruM!

So I'm EUPD type Borderline under the DK rules. Some argue there is this 4 types things but there's no research at all here for it. They treat with meds (useless for me I've found) and DBT (basically used for mental illness, it feels like.) - I am raw dogging life thanks to circumstance which explain why I can be a little tetchy at times.

To be diagnosed, you must fulfil 5 of the 9 criteria below (which honestly feel so fucking vague and overlap with so many other conditions basically anyone could be diagnosed it feels like.) There are a number of people who find they're actually AuADHD / CPTSD etc and yeah, BPD can be a problem once it's on your file, so find a good doctor who knows their shit. This is not a fun condition to have. Around 10% of people with BPD are estimated to die by suicide, a rate far higher than the average. - Fun right!

The 9 criteria are:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - For me, I cut people off instantly or even before I get to know them. It is simply easier to be alone than risk being abandoned. Backwards isn't it? - If you've got into my circle somehow you're probably off the wall fucking nuts (like me). I will push people away to prove I'm right and that they will abandon me because that's easier to manage.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation - When I had my break, I became obsessed with a guy I knew. His emotions dictated my emotions. If he was happy, I was happy (you get the picture.) - If he worried about me, I felt validated and so I spiraled. How worried could I get him to be? When he didn't answer or didn't reply in the way I wanted, he became an asshole in my world. (splitting) Instantly he'd be cut off, or he'd be goaded into speaking with me until I was happy with him again. This went on for months.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - See Nana. This is a difficult one to explain without it getting depressing. I have no concept of who I am as a person. If you ask about core values, I don't know. If you ask about hobbies, I'll usually mirror what's being presented in front of me. I have been so conditioned growing up to hold back that I build no connection unless it is acceptable, and now I'm older, I'm basically lost playing in masks. Yeah, enough on that...

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5) - Binge Eating and spending are my big two. I did drinking when I was younger. Sex is.... a topic...

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour - I have not S/H'ed in over a motherfucking year! Does that mean I don't want to? Fuck no. I just don't have access to it.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) - Like a fucking seesaw. You'll see it on my feed. Major depressive angst and then I'm wanting to fuck Rugan and Gale in some sort of super masc sandwich, all in the space of 3-4 hours. When I say a mood will pass, I fucking mean it.

Chronic feelings of emptiness - yeahhh. Self explanatory, right?

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - I lose my shit pretty often. I've learnt how to bring it down, like I'm not one for temper tantrums and public displays. It's all internal and brewing constantly. Take, for example, the other night. I lost my shit over something really minor (simple insecurities causing me to lash out. I have since blocked the offender like a mature moron, even though they probably don't realise or even understand why. I'm still angry at them though.) - Either way, gives an idea of what it's sort of like in my head.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms - This hasn't been as big a problem as it was during my breakdown. At that point, I'd travel to work and could not tell you how I got there. I still have moments of dissociation which are problematic, but it's manageable.

Anyway - That's the 9 and as you see, I get a nice big tick next to each one. People with BPD pretty much always have a nice trauma backstory to boot as well.

Personal things that bother me. Someone questioning my diagnosis. A big thing with BPD (at least for me) is validation. Having someone say my diagnosis could be wrong doesn't help me when my sense of identity is so fucked. I trust my doctors. They were thorough and they have so many more years of experience than google.

The other thing is the "my ex had, my MIL had..." Did they? Or are you just doing some arm chair psychology to explain why they were a jerk and as such preventing people like me from getting real help due to stigma? On this note - 7 psychiatrists I went through before one would even agree to see me, simply based on a potential diagnosis. Patients would be easier to work with if Drs didn't have preconceived ideas before we walked through the door.

Oh, one last thing of annoyance - FP's (Favourite person) - I fucking hate this term. You see, the obsession thing earlier - That's technically what this was, but thanks to tiktok and other social media sites some people like to RP mental illnesses now and FP's are their fucking lives. I just.... bug bear rage there.

So yeah, that's me. That's my essay on my mental health and over sharing for the week, and possibly an explanation for why things have been so erratic recently.

[vermillionsails]

Marc Spector Headcannons part 1

I've been playing Marc Spector on a Discord group and have fics in the works for him but, these are the headcanons that my brain decides to come up with and bonk him over the head with the tragedy sick with. There will be a part two of him in a relationship and NSFW stuff related to that. After this, I will be posting my Jake fic so enjoy! ps. sorry for the clickbait gif, I promise there will be suit-related content in the Future.

Quick A/N I'm finally almost done with the Jake fic I'm working on I only have two more scenes to write. then I'll be updating Fountain pen and uppercut. I'll be posting two Miguel o'hara fics after that then ill be working on a Poe fic. that's my line up so far. for anyone that's interested. also, I googled some stuff to try and be accurate to the character. the marc I have in my head also doesn't practice Judaism anymore but Steven does so if the food headcanons leave you confused that's why. Also Tumbler decided it was too long so there will be a second part which annoys me but it is what it is.

Trigger warnings: child abuse, food, music, taking of his life, Military service, and training. NSFW stuff about puberty. That's all I can think of.

childhood

• He is uncomfortable with staring. When Wendy wasn't physical, she would go nonverbal and stare a hole into the back of his head until he would get out of her sight whether it be him running up to his room or getting on his bike and riding to the park.

it wasn't just his birthday that Wendy wouldn't join or get drunk and blame him again. It was every holiday and the anniversary of his brother's death. It even expanded into Wendy going off on him if he was visibly enjoying himself. It has caused him to curb his enthusiasm about things and not want to celebrate holidays.

Bathing/showering was hard for him to get back into after the accident. The spray and the sound of the shower would give him flashbacks to when the cave was filling up. Baths would give him the same flashbacks. It took him months to get to a place where he could clean himself and get out fast enough that it wouldn't send him spiraling. He still showers fast to this day. He doesn't like the sound of rain either.

He has to be quiet. If he was quiet then, he could be in his room and read or play a little bit with his toys. He walks quietly too or won't make much noise still. He accidentally sneaks up on people because of it.

Wendy wasn't hostile all the time, and on those days he would let Steven front unless he wanted the day to himself but that would be very rare. He always tried to protect Steven and take the brunt of it.

He doesn't trust himself to cook, mainly because Wendy would snatch whatever pan or utensil out of his hand and told him that he didn't need to ruin anything else in the house. His dad found out it happened so he would get things for the microwave or have Marc wait until he could cook dinner for the two of them. He only knows how to cook two things.

After his brothers Shiva and Wendy's outbursts, their family members quit hanging around. He would rarely get to see his dad's mom who was the only other woman figure that treated him warmly.

His dad made him go to Hebrew school. He didn't get a bar mitzvah either. His dad would make him go to the temple but after he turned 15 his dad quit asking or making him. He could see Marc lose his faith.

He and his dad would watch replays of Cubs and Bears games late at night as Wendy was sleeping. It was the only time his dad could show affection to him as well. Mostly a hair ruffle or a shoulder squeeze.

Marc was able to do enough to be passing in school, He didn't make friends after everything with his brother and Steven showing up. He couldn't risk spending the night or hanging out and switching. He spent most of his time at the park walking around or reading or drawing sometimes. 

(warning his edgy phase) He was at the park one day and saw a couple of goth kids walk by. He went to the library and looked up what he saw on their shirts and was hooked for a while. He wore mainly black and painted his nails until the bottle ran out. He got a long black coat and a choker too at the thrift store but the choker fell apart a week after he bought it. He tried to dye his hair and give himself streaks but his dad talked him out of it in fear of what Wendy would do to him. 

He would listen to The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, Bauhaus, the sisters of Mercy, Depeche Mode, HIM, Deftones, pearl jam, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, foo fighters, smashing pumpkins, L7, Bush, Incubus, Kittie, slipknot, Korn, Mudvayne, a system of a down, limp bizkit, linkin park, disturbed, Alanis morissette, Green day, he even listened to the cradle of filth and cannibal corpse for a while. 

He used to wear eyeliner. It was only in his waterline but Wendy found the nub of it he had left and threw it away. He didn't rebuy it when he found it in the trash. 

He has a fondness for bugs and the ducks and other waterfowl at the park he was at all the time. He use to draw them with an ink pen.

As a kid during the summer, he used to hide and sneak away from the house during block parties. He would set off fireworks and go trick-or-treating with the neighborhood kids then. They let Marc hang out with them cause they knew what happened to his brother and they didn't mind too much Marc was quiet the whole time. 

Marc had a hyper fixation with sharks. It started with him thinking it could help with his water phobia it didn't but he thinks they're cool creatures and knows a bunch of fun facts about them.

When he was a teenager a girl named Hannah asked him over for help with homework. He generally thought she wanted help. She didn't

He loves adventure and horror books. Stephen King and Jules Verne are two of his favorite authors. He also read Jumanji multiple times as a kid and watched the movie multiple times when that came out

(Puberty stuff ahead) when he started to get pubes he didn't understand why hair grew there cause he didn't talk to his mom or dad so he always shaved it off. He would usually nick or cut himself but got better over time. He didn't realize he could trim or grow it out until he watched porn.

When he explored his body for the first time he had to learn how to be completely silent. He went online and learned how to choke himself so he could be quiet. Over time with partners, he learned he didn't have to do that but sometimes he craves having a hand around his throat. 

Kissed his pillow as practice. He froze the first time a girl kissed him. All that practice went out the window. 

Picked at his skin when he had acne. Still does from time to time but Steven and Jake usually have the most consistent skin routine which lessons it. 

Cucumber melon and lip smackers send him back to high school and middle school. He always thought they were nice smells/tastes. If you wear those around him he definitely would give kisses throughout the day or kiss the gloss/chapstick off. He will smell and or sniff you when he hugs or cuddles you. 

Marc used to wear his shoes out so badly that the souls at the bottom would tear off or his toe would poke through the top. He didn't get brand new shoes until his military shoes and after that. He usually would wear what he could find at thrift stores with the money he got from mowing lawns in the summer. 

From the age of 14-18, Marc would mow lawns during the summer for money. He would go wash off at a truck stop cause he didn't want his room or parts of the house to smell like grass and give Wendy another thing to yell at him for. It usually cooled him off during the summer anyway. 

Before Marc left for the military at 18. He mowed a new neighbor's yard for her during one summer. He didn't understand why she would stare at him until later in life. He doesn't know how to take it to this day. 

Marc was a very awkward flirt at first. Hannah had to teach him how. He was very thankful for it. 

During middle school, he got a girl he had a crush on a sticker she wanted for her collection. She kissed his cheek in return. It made him noticeably flush a shade darker. He still will flush that deep if you kiss his cheek. 

Marc used to steal his dad's cologne and wear it. It was Old Spice. Kids at school would say he smelled old but he liked it anyway.

He bought his bike from a thrift store

Constantly fixed flats with duct tape.

  He used to visit and just sit at Randall's grave. It usually ended with him sobbing saying sorry and telling Randall what their mom would do to him. Eventually, it got to the point where Marc would eat lunch or just sit there after. The groundskeeper would give Marc pop during the summers. 

 Before almost shooting himself in Khonshu's temple. Marc tried jumping off a bridge as a teenager but couldn't do it; he was too scared to end up in the water below. 

Space is a hyper fixation for him along with sharks and baseball trivia. He used to collect baseball cards as a kid. 

Use to spend time in a comic book store and read TMNT comics and other superhero comics. He also used to try and watch Saturday

Morning cartoons before his parents woke up. He got to see a couple of episodes of TMNT, Thundercat's, Transformers, Jem and Holograms, sailor moon, gargoyles, and Gi joe if he was lucky. 

Had crushes on Demona, Pumyra, Jem, Sailor Mars, and April O'Neil

calmer headcannons

he listens to "newer" bands like sleep token, I don't know how but they found me, fallout boy, my chemical romance, and Lorna Shore as he works out. 

His music Tastes got expanded when he was in the military due to his fellow soldiers. 

He didn't have very many video games. He didn't get his game system until his housing after the military. Resident Evil and Silent Hill are some of his favorites. 

Marc didn't realize he and Steven were on the spectrum until the military and their assessments of him. He just thought he was weird

He's decent at masking and learned how to hide his fidgeting. He likes fidget toys he can squeeze or rub. It helps his need to be quiet and helps him focus or gives him something else to do when he's overstimulated. 

He's had a few meltdowns when a schedule has changed out of nowhere or when a spot he likes gets crowded with people. 

Has texture issues with shirts and blankets. If they're not cotton or just soft he won't use them. If he has no other choice he will be very grumpy. 

He zones out big time but it's only when he is comfortable other than that he's on high alert

He likes flying and doing parkour in the suit. Gets adrenaline filled easily after. 

Marc sleeps on his side and cuddles a pillow.

Sneezes loud and takes him a minute to function after

Refused to wear sunscreen and had to be broken out of it. (He got a really bad burn and learned his lesson.) 

Knows first aid and CPR. 

[reikiajakoiranruohoja]

Rant: Killing Kairi off is still bad

I don't often rant about this, because I don't usually bother to give my energy to something I find distasteful or bad. But Helluva Boss has hit a nerve for me that shouldn't be hit in the first place.

To offer some background and an explanation for the title, back in the days when Kingdom Hearts was released and later when Kingdom Hearts 2 was released, there existed an unfortunate trend in the fandom. If there was any sort of female character that was potentially a love interest, it was very typical for the fanfic authors to make the female character into a one-dimensional screeching harpy and kill them off in gruesome ways to ensure their intended pairing got together. The already low sympathy towards female characters by the (mostly) female fandom was amplified once that fandom discovered m/m pairings.

This was rarely done for male characters, because every male character was a potential ship with another male character.

If I were to offer explanations for this behaviour, back in those days there really wasn't much gay representation in the Western media and most of the (teenage) fandom read everything through a Western lens. Therefore, any female main character was assumed to get together with the male main character in canon. Only in fanfiction could the fan favourite couple be together, hence the violence towards the female characters.

This was decades ago, the fandom and society at large have moved on from those days. Now gay rep is not that hard to find and gay couples can get together in canon.

So why do we see an adult indie show focused on gay relationships use the very same tropes that those teenagers used years ago?

Stella from Helluva Boss is written and treated exactly like Kairi was in those ancient Kingdom Hearts fics. There is no nuance in her portrayal and she is essentially just an obstacle between Blitz and Stolas. This is significant because the story is full of flawed characters, yet we are never allowed to see the situation from Stella's point of view, only Stolas'. We don't even know if Stella and her daughter like each other.

This isn't helped by the fact that every time Stella shows up, it is always in some way related to hurting Stolas. There are no scenes involving her that just showcase her character outside her relationship with Stolas.

Now, a writer is allowed to portray an abuser only as far as their relationship with their victim goes. But Stolas is far from a perfect angel himself, forcing Blitz to sleep with him in order to keep a portal book that is integral to Blitz' job. Stolas is also seen abusing his imp servants and spending a trip to an amusement park with his daughter ignoring her and hitting on Blitz instead.

If Stolas is allowed such nuance, why isn't Stella?

Simply put, I think Stella is being treated just like Kairi in those fanfics of yore. She is an obstacle between Stolas and Blitz and so it must be made clear Stolas could never love her. But like with those fanfics, the demonization of the female character is pointless. It is clear what the intended couple is and what it is not, so the efforts to devalue the female character amount to nothing more than padding.

To offer an example of how Stella could have been handled if there was no intention of giving her nuance, let's look at how another adult show handled a similar situation. In Frasier, Niles' ex Maris is never shown nor voiced. What she says and what she looks like don't matter, only that she is cruel to Niles and he should stay away from her.

Now, one might say it is unfair to compare Helluva Boss to Frasier. I have to disagree, though, as both are comedy shows mainly focused on discussing relationships between adults. That HB includes sexuality should not deter it from taking itself as seriously.

I think like the fanfics of yore, Helluva Boss cannot shake its rebellious teenage irrelevance. Even with no censors to control the content, the show still relies too much on lewdness and gore. Things that are mostly seen in Adult Swim's 'adult' shows like Superjail. Now, Superjail was a fine show for what it wanted to be, but an emotional exploration of relationships it was not.

Stella's treatment and even her existence is a mark of this immature writing. If you want to explore relationships from the angle of adulthood and maturity, you can't just make a character pivotal to a plot into a strawman. If you want a strawman, don't bother giving it a face and voice.

The sexist nature of this type of writing is best shown when Stella's brother Andrealphus appears. In his scenes in one episode Andrealphus has much more nuance and character than Stella has had in all her appearances combined. The reason for this is, naturally, because Andrealphus is a femme male character.

Stella is only one in a long line of female characters whose existence is only to be awful so the intended couple never has any potential third wheel.

[niuttuc]

Tap, Untap. Concede?

Well, people voted on this one, so time to talk about this one! Years and years back, when I first assembled it, it was much more about stealing stuff and abusing the peculiar wording on Merieke's abilities allowing for a few shenanigans. Some of that remain to this day, Nightmare Shepherd, Faerie Artisans, Darksteel Plate...

it pivoted over the years onto much more of a generic focus on tap abilities and untap effects. Given the propensity of untap effects to go infinite, I kept discovering more ways to go infinite in the deck, so instead of fighting it, I went along with it. This deck will combo off if left unchecked for too long, that's a fact of life and the main wincon of the deck though stealing threats with Merieke is still here as a backup.

This is a deck I pull out relatively rarely among my pool, because more relaxed pods don't always want the pressure of playing against a combo deck, certainly not one with a commander that can steal things. But I enjoy playing it immensely, as it has a lot of interesting lines of play.

There's not one given combo for the deck, you're mostly assembling things on the fly. The basis of it is basically to generate a multiplicative untap source, something that can untap more permanents that it takes to generate the effect. As such, the main combo enablers for the deck will be Pemmin's Aura, Freed from the Real and Illusionist's Bracers. Some of them require another untapper, or a permanent that taps for two or more colored mana, or something else. Halo Fountain can also serve as the multiplying untap source in the right circumstances. Another way to combo is to use Unctus, which is a simple two card combo with Aphetto alchemist or three cards with any two untappers, allowing you to loot through your entire deck if necessary to find another combo. And of course, Staff of Domination can get out of hand, along with Lithoform Engine with some untap effects.

As far as actually winning the game, generating infinite untaps generally means you get access to infinite mana, and with any of the many, many tapping effects in this deck, also infinite of something else you can parley into a win. Halo Fountain can do the job of actually winning the game once everything is set up. Fain the Broker can generate an infinitely big army of infinitely big flying creatures that you can haste up with boots or a drawbridge. Merieke and Beguiler of Wills can steal your opponents' entire board. Shorikai will draw through your deck while making 40 1/1s that shaile can pump up infinitely. Wizard's Spellbook will copy all the spells in all the graveyards,...

Before you combo, of course, you also play cards with tap effects, creatures and artifacts, to get some value and play a "fair" gameplan. Be they upsides on mana rocks or just fun cards. In that area (and in others, as Norritt can attest, just not as much), the picks are very much cards that look fun and are on theme with their tapping effect more than "optimized" choices for everything. Shaile and Embrose are a pet card of mine, Oracle en-Vec is just fun to play with, and the Deck of Many Things is certainly not the best card ever printed.

The manabase is dated but I've barely touched it up over the years, there are certainly optimizations to make.

Something that's very convenient is the tendency for recent untappers to be able to target any permanent, which includes lands. This makes them double up as value engine and ramp in this deck, and is particularly potent with lands or rocks that tap for more than one mana, which in this deck also happen to be combo pieces. Lotus Field, bouncelands, Empowered Auto-Generator. This deck can get up to high amounts of mana, and doesn't always have enough fuel to spend it on. Probably means it should go a bit heavier on card draw, but slots are slots.

Anyway, this is one of my favorite decks to pilot as mentioned earlier, I just make sure that any opponents facing it know what they're dealing with and to try and stop me.

[d3spite]

in  the  desert,  i  saw  a  creature,  naked,  bestial,  who,  squatting  upon  the  ground,  held  his  heart  in  his  hands,  and  ate  all  of  it  .  i  said  -  is  it  good,  friend ?  it  is  bitter,  bitter  -  he  answered  -  but  i  like  it,  because  it  is  bitter,  and  because  it  is  my  heart ───

⠀⠀⠀⠀ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⋅ 𓂃 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝐍𝐘𝐌 ...

₊ ⋅ 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 › just call them nym. ₊ ⋅ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 › probably genderfluid. uses any pronouns interchangeably. is referred to most commonly with they and he, which they do not mind. truthfully, they do not care what other people refer to him as and does not spend much time thinking about their identity. ₊ ⋅ 𝐚𝐠𝐞 › 29 years old, born in 1995. ₊ ⋅ 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧 › ayutthaya, thailand. ₊ ⋅ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 › currently renting a flat in london, england, which doubles as their work office. ₊ ⋅ 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 › private investigator. often hired to locate missing persons, uncover proof of infidelity, dig up dirt on somebody's competitors, etc. ₊ ⋅ 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 › not interested, please take that elsewhere.

₊ ⋅ 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 › 172 cm. ₊ ⋅ 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 › dark brown. constantly ringed with shadows from poor sleep. ₊ ⋅ 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 › black, overgrown, choppy. ₊ ⋅ 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 › esoteric. mostly dark, muted colors. flowy clothing that doesn't fit too snugly. scarves, shawls, loose pants. ₊ ⋅ 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 › blessed with surprisingly clear skin and shiny hair. cursed with dry lips, peeling cuticles, eyebags like bruises, premature brow and eye wrinkles, and a creaking spine.

₊ ⋅ 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 › blessed with an analytical mind and an extremely good memory. when waking from a nightmare, nym will often act erratically and more aggressively than normal. ₊ ⋅ 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐬 › diagnosed with a rather severe case of type 1 narcolepsy, leading to random bouts of sleep throughout the day that may last from seconds to hours. additionally deals with sleep paralysis, hallucinations, and rare episodes of cataplexy, in which their body completely collapses against their will. also suffers from frequent migraines. against medical judgement, they refrain from taking any medication besides painkillers. their condition has left them constantly littered with minute wounds across their body - cuts, burns, scrapes, and bruises. ₊ ⋅ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 › isfp. sparsely social, works better in one-on-one situations. guarded. genuinely empathetic, though it may come off in an eccentric way.

₊ ⋅ 𝐧𝐲𝐦'𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 › whenever nym falls asleep, he receives visions of past, present, or future events. these visions are often centered around something or someone that has recently become important in his life, with a focus on events that have massively affected people's emotional states. he has recently been able to exercise a level of control over the subject of his visions, but likely due to mounting sensitivity, he has been receiving visions of events completely unrelated to him or anybody he knows. often, these visions show him the worst of humanity.

nym keeps this side of him hidden from the rest of the world, but uses them to his advantage while working. they sometimes are the reason why he begins certain investigations, and often give him the clues to close out his cases.

₊ ⋅ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 › lies often ⋆ does not consider his life story to be important or meaningful ⋆ substance abuse causes their dreams to white out to indistinguishable static, and they employ this only when pushed to the brink ⋆ you can track nym’s progress on a case based on this parameter: the shittier he looks, the closer he is to cracking it. ⋆

[lachimolala22019]

Heart full of love preview

After losing a beloved person to a war of greed and money.

She never thought a business trip to a small village would lead her to her fate.

She never thought the heart that was once empty will be filled with so much love and adoration for these seven men who she would do anything for.

For first time after the incident her heart was full of love.

They were her family and she will burn anyone who dares to harm them.

Pairing: Hybrid!BTS X Hybrid!reader

Genre: poly, hybrid, mates

Warning: thunderstorms, raining, mistreatment.

Status: on going

Masterlist

The sound of rain and thunder was echoing around the whole building. Because of the harsh weather the light was cut out, Making it difficult for anyone to see anything.

I was sitting in the corner of a room my small from cowering from the harsh sound of thunder.

The condition of the building was not good, there was water leaking from the roof and molds on the wall.

But it was better than being outside in the thunder storm.

The cold floor of the building and the lack of warm cloths was making me shiver. I wrap my hand around my body in hope to warm myself up a little.

There was not many facilities available in the shelter as no one cared about hybrid enough to provide them some warm clothes or a blanket to keep them warm.

The lighting struck again making me cower in fear as I let out a whimper. I covered my ears, the loud sound being too much for my sensitive hybrid ears.

I deside to lay on the floor legs curled in toward my chest with my hands in the middle.

It has almost been 1 year since I arrived at the facility after being caught while steal some food from a stall. The owner called the management after catching me.

I was almost 6 when I was sent here by the hybrid management organization, the facility was not good but it was better than sleeping on the street with no food. They provide us food one time a day and a roof on our head in this weather.

There were not many people who came to adopt hybrid here, most of them preferred to adopt from a well and expensive shelters.

In the year I have been here I have only seen 3 hybrids get adopted. 2 female rabbit hybrids and a male cat hybrid all of them being around 10 years old.

The hybrid here never talked to each other, for them everyone was a rival they had to fight to be able to have a good life outside the facility with hopefully an owner who would not treat them badly. It was nearly impossible since it was hard to get an owner who would take care of you.

Most of the time adopted hybrids were abused or returned to the shelter by their owner. They were treated like an object to show off the wealth, the more rare hybrid the more rich the person.

I never understood why humans liked to cage everything that they see or find interest in. Why do many of them take pleasure in treating other living begins like an object.

The lightning had stopped soon, the sound of rain made me sleepy. I soon found myself dozing of thinking about if I would ever get adopted in a loving family ,or would I spend all my life here in the shelter laying on the cold floor with nothing or no one to keep me warm.

Next

Taglist

@fluffy-canada-pancakes @mageprincess7 @queen-in-the-shadows @ddaeng-angmoh @missseoulite

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

Carrie watches “North & South” (2004) Ep. 1 and 2

Uh-oh, choices were made.

Thornton’s intro. I have so many questions, and the first is... why? (The Hades vibes I can take or leave - don’t get me wrong, I *love* me that myth, but I don’t quite know yet if I like it applied here. But it’s a choice, and I’m willing to see where it goes.) But, like, you catch a guy smoking in your cotton mill. I get it. I get it. But... you get his pipe off him, still warm, mind you, likely still gleaming - and you take time out of your day to pummel him to the ground?? Instead of getting both the worker and the pipe well out of the room that is *filled* with incredibly combustible fluff? If Thornton were as business-minded and no-nonsense as they claim he is, he’d have kicked that guy out in two sentences, and maybe sent a clerk after him to notify the cops. And he’d not get in a fistfight... with a worker... all that does is waste time and make him lose face? He might shout abuse after him a bit, and that would have done fine for this scene, actually, if they had to write a new one? Why are we spending all this time to establish he’s physically violent? And that he has a temper? Why is Thornton a tall dark and handsome Byronic hero - John “oh whelp too awkward to explain why I’m standing around by the side of the road better take a day trip to the country” “bringing my unrequited love’s mother fruit baskets because she’s sick” “travelling across the country to collect roses where the one that got away grew up and pressing them in my balance book” Thornton? Why is the main trait the audience is supposed to associate him with that he may erupt into unapologetic violence at any point? I do feel strongly reminded of a love interest from a classic novel, actually, but it is not North and South - this violent streak is giving me intense Mr. Rochester vibes. Again, choices were made.

(He *did* have a bit of a temper in the book! But like, he was a bit short with people. On relatively rare occasions. He wasn’t given to punching someone in a room full of people who would never raise a hand to stop him because they all work for him? Isn’t he all about fairness all the time? And idk, Armitage is giving him a vibe in his early scenes as if that temper could come out with *anyone*, except maybe his mother? As if Margaret should be afraid of him physically harming her? It’s very uncomfortable and I really don’t get what they think the story is gaining from this.)

They really put on the intense staring with old Mrs. Thornton, but I do quite like her, actually - and Fanny is delightfully horrid. I think it’s touching, in a way, seeing how the two of them must have spoiled her rotten, so I actually like how hard they’re leaning into this.

Mr. Bell is decidedly creepy in this. I wasn’t a fan of his in the book - lord but he was annoying as all hell - but why make him so weirdly *into* Margaret? Right in front of her father, too? And right in front of my salad??

Going into ep 2, I am warming up to this Thorton, though I still feel he’s a bit too... sure of himself? The power dynamic between him and the Hales is weirdly underplayed, which is a shame, it’s so interesting. Like that little interlude at his mother’s dinner, when he leaves her to go talk to what’s-his-name... that was too smooth. He’s great when it’s about the strike, but with Margaret he’s so weirdly dominant. But again. The performance is growing on me. The smitten looks do help.

Holy manufactured drama Batman! Margaret is outed at the dinner table for bringing food to the Higgins’s! *gasp* Was this in the book? Surely I’d remember that... will have to check, but boy, did that feel forced, with everyone dropping their knives and forks in outrage.

Oooooh, the strike! The buildup was nicely adapted, but it did feel a little anticlimactic to see it play out, it’s over so quickly! There really isn’t much more to the event, but it felt so much longer in the book! (And all the time Thorton spends lingering on it afterwards probably made it feel even longer than it was.)

Ngl the dramatic blending of flashbacks to Margaret’s bloody temple with a closeup of Thornton staring out of a window is a bit funny with twenty years of hindsight on it. As I’m coming up on the end of ep 2, I guess my temporary verdict is they *really* upped the ante on the drama front, arguably more than necessary.

It does feel a bit out of character for Hannah to go on about the inititals in the wedding linens in front of her son, but I love that they kept that detail! She’s such an interesting character, I’m delighted how much attention they’re paying to her.

YES, thank God. Now they’re getting it. Now they’re getting the vibe. Urgh this proposal is setting my teeth on edge... but in a good way! It’s supposed to! And honestly I’ll never be over Margaret’s ongoing theme of suitor: ‘I simply have to -’ Margaret: ‘Oh you really don’t!!’

Side note, but I’ve seen the gifs of “One minute we were talking of the colour of fruit, the next of love. How does that happen?” so often and I always thought Margaret was the one saying it. It’s hilarious that it’s Thornton. My dude you started both these conversation topics without so much as stopping for breath between one and the other.

I love how he’s basically shouting. This throws the whole surprised denial and careful questioning from her father months (!) later into a completely different light. The whole house must be hearing this, now Mr Hale is basically playing a completely pointless sharade with his daughter - oh you’re not telling me he likes you? Maybe even... asked...? Lol nope with walls that thin half the street is getting these news as they come in.

Yes, “I spoke to you about my feelings because I love you, I had no thought for your reputation!” is a banger of a line, and top notch delivery. Like I said, I *am* warming up to him. Especially in this scene.

I just love the “Oh there are others! This happens to you every day! Of course!” line so much. He’s such a petty bitch I adore him.

That said Thornton is jumping to so many conclusions it’s practically parcour. Margaret: “Hey I’m sorry I’m not taking this well my only friend in this town is dying a horrible slow death as we speak.” Thornton: “Oh so you think I’m a murderer!!!” Margaret: “I do not know how to respond when someone speaks to me as you just have -” Thornton: “Oh so this happens to you all the time???” Like. How is that what you’re taking from this. You’re right, somehow, but how are you getting there with what you’re given? Isn’t the implication of ‘hey I do not know how to handle shit like this’ exactly the opposite - that you haven’t ever been in this situation and thus don’t know how to handle it?

I think overall Margaret is actually nicer to him than in the book, at least in these last few scenes? This may not be based on actual facts but... she seems a bit gentler, more forgiving, which makes “I understand you completely” even more tragic. Buddy, you visibly don’t.

I’m starting to see how this got compared to P&P so much (aside from the obvious “criminally unromantic dude is turned down - love interest makes a spectacle of himself in a meltdown/proposal and is turned down - love interest comes back after life-altering calamity and is accepted” structural parallel). Like they made Thornton a bit more abrasive in tone and then Macfadyen made Darcy seem a lot *less* abrasive in tone so their desaster proposals kind of meet in the middle.

[girlreviews]

Review #474: #1 Record, Big Star

“I never travel far, without a little Big Star”, is the saying that goes, or rather, the lyrics from The Replacement’s ode to Alex Chilton. It’s true though. Big Star are my favorite band. While I disagree pretty adamantly with the order, all three of their records are in the Rolling Stone’s Top 500. I find that immensely satisfying. One thing Rolling Stone and I agree on – apparently — is that Big Star are special. I could talk possibly forever about the Big Star story, but it’s a rare occasion that I happen upon anyone else who knows, cares, or is interested. Which is pretty much part and parcel of the story itself. It’s part of its charm in a way.

I learned about Big Star the way everyone does, or at least did. Someone put a song on a burned CD for me (previously it would have been a mixtape, but this was the early 2000s and this is what we did). It was that fuckin’ boy, okay? And it was around when we actually met. He was trying to impress. He made me this CD, it was plain white, and it had scrawled on it in his stupid fucking handwriting “Summer Promo” with some little patterns doodled around it. Thirteen was the third track and it instantly became my favorite. I fell in love with it, and with Big Star, and that was it. I remember almost all of the other tracks, they were mostly trash. He gave it to me before fucking off for several weeks over the summer – to Bible camp, ha – and the douchebag didn’t ever have enough money to keep his cell phone with credit to call or text. By the time he got back he already was like, “sorry, dumping you”, and so began the 3 to 4 years of hellish on-off controlling, jealous, rage abuse from a boy who didn’t want me, and constantly cheated on me, but couldn’t stand to see me move on or be near anyone else. Who am I kidding, he didn’t say sorry.

Some years in, he had moved away but this all continued. He was back in town – and we were together at this point – and days into his visit he hadn’t called, texted, nothing. He eventually showed up, only to inform me that he had tickets to see an artist that we both loved, Kathryn Williams, at a very local venue, and that he was taking another girl. My father had to physically restrain me. Later that evening, my boy best friend just so happened to call me and said he and his parents were going to that same show, had a spare ticket and would I like to go. I said yes. When I arrived, I sat several rows ahead of my “boyfriend”, and he saw that I was there with my friend, a boy, who in his opinion, I was not allowed to spend time with. Then. As if by magic. Kathryn Williams covered Thirteen. Beautifully. I really do remember that in that moment, knowing that I wasn’t ever going to ever be able to let myself tie songs I loved this much to people that hurt me on purpose if I wanted to continue loving them. I turned around and looked at him as if to say “you will never get this song from me”. I’d love to say that was the end of it all, but it wasn’t.

In the Street also lives within #1 Record, and during my teenage years, That 70’s Show was such a breath of fresh air. We all loved it. I had really fond memories of watching that show with my friends. I used to download it illegally and we would all watch it in my room around my computer. The theme tune was performed by Cheap Trick in the show, but I always loved that Alex Chilton and Chris Bell were in the opening credits, and as I understand it, it earned them money in syndication. However, Chris Bell was already dead, and Alex Chilton died with not a great deal to his name. So maybe it didn’t help. It’s probably the way that most folks know Big Star, even if they don’t know it. I’d encourage you to listen to their original version of In the Street. It’s fun, and honestly would have been a better fit for the show if you ask me. Also, it’s got so much cowbell it’s just silly. Sadly — sadly isn’t really the appropriate word here — That 70’s Show and the majority of its cast are now mired by the actions of convicted rapist and Scientologist Danny Masterson. Fond feelings are now replaced by anger and sadness for his victims and bitter disappointment in his castmates for continuing to support him and his church’s actions.

Skip forward a few years, and that boy is finally out of the picture, but a new nightmare begins. I’ve pointed to this in a few previous reviews. A job with a boss, and that boss is no good. We’re not going to get too far into that here. But there was this time, I was working my seventh day in a week a fourth week in a row (!) at a trade show. I forget why, but the subject of music came up, or I was listening to music on my break, or something like that, and this guy wanted to know what it was I was listening to. He was in his 40s and in a previous life, he had very briefly and with a great deal of mediocrity enjoyed some commercial success in a band. I’m being quite generous in saying that. He liked to overstate that success. A lot. Anyway. It comes up that I’m a fan of Big Star, and this garners his attention (more so than usual), and earns me some respect as a “real music fan”. I’m at work, I’m exhausted, I’m paid 8 pounds an hour, and this man was my ride to and from some hotel trade show at the Heathrow Airport. Finally, the day is over, and we’re leaving. On the way to what I think is home, he tells me that his wife is out of town, and his bandmates are in town, and that he isn’t going to take me home, he’s taking me to his house to hang out with his band. It may surprise you to learn that I, an 18 year old girl, did not want to hang out by myself with five 40-year-old men, only one of which I actually knew. The thing is, I actually didn’t have any choice. At all. This is one of those things where I most certainly look back and think “Jesus christ, that was fucked up”, and at the time I recognized my discomfort, but I didn’t have enough of a voice or know what to do about it. He was my boss.

So there I was, at his house, just kind of stuck. They all got fucking white girl wasted. And they had set up recording equipment – I assume their entire weekend plans were to fuck around and record music. Well. He made me sing. He made me sing Thirteen. He recorded it. They played. I was shaking. Mortified. Terrified. He wouldn’t let me leave until I did it. Then I was allowed to be sent home in a private car. I feel really sad for myself when I think about this. I’m not sure how not one of those men thought it was strange that I was there, or that my discomfort was so obvious, and that not one of them thought I should be at home. In hindsight I get the feeling my boss wasn’t someone people felt comfortable standing up to. That’s no excuse, in my opinion.

In weeks following, he showed me the mix he made of the recording, and I hated it. Hated. It. To be clear: I sang it beautifully. Every single one of those men was surprised by what came out of my mouth, and they all shut the fuck up for awhile, because I sang it beautifully and they weren’t expecting it. I hated it because of how it was created. I hated it because he bastardized it with a bunch of weird added effects and elongations that were insults to the original. From that day, until I left that job to go to university, I was encouraged to not bother with school and let him manage my music career, and my aspirations of college and helping people were “a stupid waste of time”. I thank myself every day that I had no desire to take him up on his ridiculous offer, and that saying no required no second thought. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me had I said yes, but I know that it would not have been good. That wasn’t the last of that guy, either, unfortunately, but I did go to school and I did graduate before he had the opportunity to fuck anything else up again.

Again, I revisited that notion of never letting anyone ruin a song or a band for me. But, in writing these reviews, I have come to realize that the memory being attached to a song or an artist has served a really valuable purpose for me. I know that this shit really happened, because the song/artist makes me think of this memory. That’s how I know. It’s validating and it’s helpful to actually catalogue all of this in this particular way. I can believe myself. If I ever didn’t before, I do now.

At the end of 2022, I was able to see Big Star (well “Big Star”), perform all of their catalog live, for the 50th anniversary of #1 Record. In Memphis. Mike Mills of R.E.M., Pat Sansone of Wilco, Jon Auer of the Posies, and Chris Stamey of the dBs, playing alongside original drummer and only surviving member, Jody Stephens. Over the years – whether in the UK or in the US, so many Big Star events had come and gone. Movie showings, one-off shows, tributes, whatever. And no matter what, somehow, something always stopped me from catching them. Not this one. No fucking way. I was really overwhelmed, and overcome, to think of all of the things that had to happen in my life since I first heard Thirteen on that burned CD under my loft bed in England to put me in Memphis, listening to these songs live, finally, in my Thirties, knowing those absolute assclowns that I’ve written about above are well behind me and can’t hurt me anymore.

[csphire]

Meet Anna

Legal Name: Anna Smith

Nickname / Aliases: My Sweet, My Dear or Button (Astarion), Cuzzyl, Sweetums or Oury (Dammon), Cuddlebug, Oury and Kitten (Karlach), Dear Heart, My Lady and Pixie (Wyll)

Background: Artisan (Jeweler/Enchanter)

Age: Unknown estimated around 30s?

Pronouns: She / Her / They

Race/Subrace: High Half-Elf

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Deities: It's complicated. Tymora, she prays to the most followed by extending respects to Jergal, Lathander, Ilmater, Loviatar, and Corellon Larethian too.

Class / Subclass: Warlock (Archfey) / Cleric (Tymora Light Domain)

Instruments of Choice: Humming? Flute?

(She's not really musically inclined.)

Weapons of Choice: Shortbow, Crossbows, Hand Crossbows, Daggers, Staves, Mace, Trident and Shield

Love Interest(s): (She's Polyamorous Semi-Closed)

No randos on a whim, only good friends, basically. She's all about full discloure if she wants to pursue someone new. But she's at a place where she feels rather settled and happy in the polycule she's a part of now. Spouses and lovers are listed in chronological order.

Spouses:

Astarion (Star & You): Their relationship is a rocky one. Both of them have some serious baggage from past trauma. Their respective experiences both help understand one another's more prickly moods and defensive moments. But it sometimes causes problems between them too as they can rub each other raw. Since Anna is a survivor of domestic abuse by her first lover over a decade ago "bite night" and the idea of Astarion feeding off of her is not something she thinks is sexy or enjoys. The first time she permitted it because he said he needed it. Second time again she was trying to figure out if she could tolerate continuing to help keep him in that way. But afterwards she found the courage to admit it deep down bothered her. They settled upon a compromise of sorts. She has no issue with him literally licking her wounds and taking advantage of other opportunities to enjoy her blood that naturally occur. True they bicker like an old married couple often but do love one another greatly. She gifts him sketches and drawings of him and he often gifts her all kinds of treats to indulge her sweet tooth.

Dammon (Sunshine & Hun): Is the one she cuddles with and is the most fiercely protective over, which is warranted given he's only got 8 hp. She does her best to not have favorites and love all her spouses equally but... Dammon she gets along and has the most in common with compared to all the others. They rarely argue and at most lightly tease one another. It's never been bumpy with him only smooth sailing since they realized and acted on their feelings for one another. Their flirting is more honest and sincere. They are very gentle with one another. Both artisans, after the defeat of the Elder brain, they end up spending the most time at home together working side by side while the others all work outside of the home. He with his weapons and armor and her creating and enchanting jewelry as well as some of his stock. Although Dammon can get distracted in a project he's usually the first if not the second to notice if something is bothering her that she's in denial of or is trying to shrug off. Also out of all of her spouses, he's the one who knows how to get her to calm down and check her temper the quickest. Astarion, much to his vexation, still doesn't know how Dammon does this.

Karlach (Beautiful & Wifey): These two can wind one another up and get rather excitable and loud quick. Together they can turn into absolute cussing goofballs much to Dammon, Wyll, and Astarion's woe but usual delight. Even though she's out most of the day when she comes home Karlach has a knack for making up for it and brightening up any evening. I think the only things she and Anna only really quarrel about now are Karlach being a touch messy and Anna "getting too much of a stick up her ass." Do they help one another with their hair, yes. Hair and horn care they all help one another with, it's a bonding thing for all of them. Right behind Dammon, Karlach usually ends up with most cuddles from Anna than anyone.

Lovers:

Wyll (Handsome & Honey): Wyll is honestly more Karlach's main spouse than Anna's or the others. Karlach and he share a deep bond after all the trials they faced in Avernus together. Although Anna and him don't spend much time together they get along well, flirt, and cuddle with one another when they can. Anna has two left feet but with Karlach and Wyll's help, she's getting better at dancing. With Astarion and Karlach, Wyll is often away from home. The trio are deeply engaged in the politics of the city and trying to help manage it. Often this leaves Anna and him only able to write some rather romantic and risqué letters to one another.

Halsin & Shadowheart: We all know Halsin likes to roam and he's not one for the city. So his visits are rare but delightful all the same. It's usually Astarion and Anna who pounce him first to give him a big warm welcome to the city together.

With Shadowheart, she visits a little more often than Halsin does. But usually, Halsin will join her. They're sorta an item as after everything has settled down in Baldur's Gate Shadowheart and her parents decide to follow Halsin to the former shadowcursed lands and work to continue to heal them. Rolan: To put it simply Dammon and her usually do their best to team up to help prevent the wizard from working too hard. All three of them share a business and personal relationship. Both Dammon and Anna sell a majority of their work to Rolan to help keep Sorcerous Sundries stocked with quality enchanted goods. He's in the running to become a fourth spouse for Anna and Dammon.

Please note: that the sex in this polycule is not as wild or as frequent as one thinks. It's more swapping bedmates on occasion than anything. Wyll and Karlach tend to sleep together. Anna and Dammon tend to pair up too when it comes to resting and having sex. Astarion likes to split his time between his spouses and will occasionally go off to visit Sebastian. Shadowheart and Halsin again visit rarely and are warmly welcomed by most. Threesomes and foursomes might happen once every few months. Orgies, more than four participants, are never really planned and might only occur once a year if that.

Did she really screw the Dream Guardian? Technically... um yes. I did not save it, but it still counts according to Steam. Best Friends: Gale, Lae'zel, Jaheira, Alfira and Lakrissa. Personality: Anna can cuss and be blunt as a sailor and get just as loud and excitable as Karlach, but most of the time she's demure and prefers to keep a low profile about strangers. She seems to be kind, polite, and a quiet type of person. One you'd least expect to draw in close, slip a blade into one's ribs, and twist with perfectly calm and collected look. Although she was usually her companion's defacto leader most who met them were unable to tell who was in charge until she stepped forward and started the talking. The kind of intimidation she pulls is all in the eyes and calm actions rather than size or muscles. She rarely uses that method and prefers deception and more charismatic approaches. If there is a problem she tends to grin, bear it, and will try to tackle it herself. Her greatest flaw? She's an expert in bottling up some of her emotions. She struggles with vulnerability and asking for help. But it's something she's working on with the help of her spouses and friends. It also sometimes takes her a while to process her feelings. If she gets upset, angry, or frustrated, she tends to retreat when overwhelmed to sort or cry them out. However, she rarely now spurns any of her spouses or friends who follow to offer comfort or a sympathetic ear to help her resolve an internal or external turmoil.

Bio: There are around two versions of Anna actually. One born on Toril and just your average half-elf artisan warlock. The other is a former human from Earth who woke up in a pod, realized she wasn't in her bed or human anymore, had a tiny freak out but proceeded to suck it up and use her meta knowledge of the game to keep herself and her companions alive. A whole MGIT (Modern Girl In Toril) because I'm a sucker for that troupe and I want to have fun.

Now Earth Anna is a little admittedly self insert-ish. I can't afford to travel and I'm currently not well enough for it so... vacationing in my fan fics. Some things about Anna are based on me and others are not depending on the fic.

Simply put both start off being an artisan warlock half-elf with some emotional baggage that pales in comparison to Astarion's. But it’s enough to help them understand one another better than those who have not been so deeply hurt and controlled.

Before she was abducted Toril Anna was a jeweler in Baldur’s Gate who years earlier secured a pact with an archfey of the Seelie court. Her last name is a pretty common one for humans. Although her human father came from a long line of blacksmiths for decades he served as a Flaming Fist. Anna learned her trade of jewelry-making from her elven mother. What's become of them both is unknown at this time. Anna hopes they fled the city to relatives in Neverwinter.

Her Patron: The assumption they’re from the Seelie court is based on some in-game dialogue we can get when trying to get into the circus. Between you and me I lowkey loath how a Tav or Durge’s patron is barely acknowledged, and we get crumbs of information about them, absolute crumbs.

Toril Anna entered into a pact shortly after fleeing an abusive lover. It was not the best of plans, to just leave him and Baldur’s Gate as fast as possible for another city where she could start over but she feared for her life. How she met her patron one could say was a whole lucky meet-cute story. She literally stumbled over them and profusely apologized. Charmed by her sweet nature, good manners and also finding out why she was in such a hurry, the fey extended to her a bargain to give her power and also taught her how to give her goods a stronger enchantment with a small cost. Now all of Anna’s enchantments always turn out to have a tiny bit of chaos to them but nothing her customers will ever notice… usually.

Unlike Wyll, Anna and her patron have a mostly respectful, sometimes chaotic, very protective, and loving relationship. But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Anna is well aware fey can be fickle, easily offended, and therefore dangerous. For starters, she suspects her patron is behind her abusive lover’s untimely and grisly demise. Something she found out years later after her patron coaxed her into returning to Baldur’s Gate with assurances that with her new powers, she would not need to leave and she could disappear easily enough in the large city.

Currently, her patron on occasion only asks her to do some odd and seemingly harmless things to set off a little chaos in the world. What seems like a few setups for pranks or displacing a stone from a circle of them in some forest. Some of these things lead to disastrous results but nothing fatal for anyone… usually. Her patron loves chaos like most fey and was tickled pink when she stole the Blood of Lathander mace. Anna is also obligated to help other fey in need from the Seelie court like the pixie in the lamp. Killing fey from the Unseelie court such as hags and redcaps also delights her patron as well.

Thanks for reading this far and bear in mind this is a work in progress. I may or may not edit this a bit more in the future.

[imnotsillly]

hiiii👀 can you tell us more about kylie

OMG OMG OF COURSE THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

"Omg, hey girlfriend!!! Yeah babe, after hearing all the shit you said about me, you're like, SOOO totes dead!."

Frequently seen partying at clubs, speeding down the road blaring Ke$ha from her pink convertible, and crying in a bathroom stall while drunk, Kylie is a wild party animal with a violent side to those that cross her. Formally known as one of Brawlston's "High Queens", Kylie was a hitman boss that employed Isabelle and Viv as her top assassins all while using Florist's floral shop as a front. However, this business was disbanded around 2017, after a feud with another crime boss caused Isabelle and Kylie to be severely harmed in an incident, putting Isabelle permanently out of the job and making Kylie rethink her decisions in regard to the safety of her employees, who to some degree, she really did care about. Kylie was an abusive boss and frequently bullied Florist and Isabelle, tho only annoyed Viv as she couldn't bring herself to seriously harm her former friend which she had known even since before she transitioned(Yes, Kylie is trans, tho that's not very important). Isabelle would commonly return the bullying, resulting in her and Kylie having a love-hate relationship where one moment they loved each other like sisters and the next they were at each other's throats. Kylie is loud, obnoxious, and frankly, fucking crazy, not caring about the consequences of the trouble she stirs up as long as it's fun in the moment. Kylie has caused many disputes in the past with other crime bosses, however she usually made Isabelle take the fall for it. This doesn't mean that Kylie was afraid to settle her own issues, if you want something done, do it yourself! Kylie's bright pink glock or circular saw usually seemed to do the trick when settling her conflicts.

Now that Kylie is retired and has let Viv, Isabelle, and Florist live their own lives crime-free, she spends her days doing whatever the fuck she wants with her wealth, partying hard and living her hot pink glittery life to the fullest! She does still come visit Florist's shop sometimes to say hi to her former friends, despite their past with her Kylie acts like she is on completely good terms with everyone, while annoying as fuck, she is nice to her old "besties" as long as they don't dare to piss her off. She is insanely friendly, though catty and loud, she is always trying to invite others to come have fun with her, whether it's dancing all night or doing a line of coke with her in the club restroom. Be careful when dealing with Kylie though, she can turn on you quickly and completely ruin your life over any small inconvenience, as well as put you 6 feet under.

As of 2024, Kylie is 45 years old, still rocking her party animal glow and indulging in an unhealthy cocaine addiction to keep her going. She keeps close tabs and connections with her crime boss friends, making sure that both she and her former employees are protected, because of this, Kylie tends to feel "untouchable" compared to common folk, and thinks she can do whatever she wants without consequences. And to be fair, she hasn't run into anyone that could stop her yet.

There's a basic summary!!! There's so SOOOOO MUCH to cover with Kylie and her backstory and her place in the main story (Miss Arellano) but for now, I hope this can suffice as a decent introduction to our evil ginger lady Kylie!!! :D

I can't lie, Kylie is a TERRIBLE friend and boss and maybe even.. ugh.. person? BUT I CAN EXCUSE WOMEN'S WRONGS AND I LOVE HER ANYWAYS. She was the first antagonist I made for Isabelle's story so she has a special place in my heart lol. As well as a banger Spotify playlist >:]

Thank you so, SO much for this ask!!!! I rarely get to talk about my characters or stories but trust me, there is SO much to tell!!! It means so much to me to have someone take an interest in them, so thank you!!! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

[hunterwritesstuff]

Can you tell us about all the ocs in ur au? Just like names. Or just the characters in general?

Yeah! Going under the cut bc long, but listing most important stuff about them <3 TWs ahead: Abuse, religious trauma, parent death, death, homophobia mention, grief, and other heavy stuff, PLEASE take care of yourselves! Also, don't worry, I'm doing my research for the things here that I don't have experience with and I'm handling the sensitive stuff with utmost care <3

🧸 Hunter had a dad in the navy, but when Hunter was ten-ish, he died out at sea :(

🧸 He was an animator before the studio fell!

🧸 Before the studio fell, he was probably closest to Tom, Sammy, or Wally!

🧸 The reason he quit working there was due to him getting stressed out due to having to deal with his family AND incredibly short deadlines.

🧸 He has the same thing I do where if I stand for too long, his legs start to hurt :(

🧸 His favorite animals are manatees! :D(He relates to them a bit too much lol)

🧸 He very much so will break out into song at random.

🧸 He sees Tom as a father figure!

🧸 He had a breakdown when he realized he was gay :(

🧸 Sammy helped him through it <3

🧸 He's autistic btw, almost everyone here is aside from the last three-

✝️ Kenneth is an ex-choir boy!

✝️ He used to go to church, but stopped when he just didn't have the time to go anymore. He still practices slightly, like, he prays whenever he sees a carcrash, disaster of some sort where other people are in danger/hurt, or he's stressed, and he has a rosary in his pocket at any given time(as a comfort thing and like, as a fidget thing lol)! :D

✝️ Like many of my other ocs, he's autistic lol

✝️ He's always had a weaker right leg, so that's why he uses the cane :D

✝️ He definitely spends a fair amount of his morning routine choosing which cane to use for the day(It has to MATCH the VIBE of the OUTFIT!!! What's the point if it DOESN'T?!?)

✝️ He started off at JDS as a one-off VA for a character(A radio announcer that Bendy bothered because he said he was "too young to go into the business"), but he was fun to work with, so Joey kept him around for other voicework! :D

✝️ Before he worked at Joey Drew Studios, he was a radio announcer!

✝️ He always sorta. forgets to get food?? But Wally helps with that! :D

✝️ Also like, he's sorta like, a mix of Alastor and very VERY toned down Spamton(The best way to explain it is to show how he speaks, so like, he'll deadass just speak like this: "Weather got ya down? No worries! Get some HUGS from YOURS TRULY to help youR SOUL ASCEND to GREAT HEIGHTS!!!!!", his ass does NOT know volume control unless he's working-)

✝️ Also his last name is lowkey a reference to a musical artist I used to listen to a lot when I was younger-

🐕‍🦺 John is an. interesting fella!

🐕‍🦺 He looks average as shit on first glance, maybe you'd think he's like. a little sexist? But nope! He's actually quite sweet, in reality!

🐕‍🦺 He can't really handle excitement too much though :(

🐕‍🦺 Most times, he has his service dog, Wily with him(Wily is a Newfoundland :3), but he can't really bring that to the studio, so he threw together a device that detects his pulse, and if it goes too fast, it beeps at him(I KNOW THIS IS THE THIRTIES BUT LET ME HAVE THIS PLSSS)

🐕‍🦺 Overtime, Norman catches onto this and warns him whenever like. something might be too exciting for him.

🐕‍🦺 His family(thankfully) was in the rare percent of people who were chill with gay people :)

🐕‍🦺 They always felt so bad he had to hide such an, in their words "amazing and beautiful part of yourself" :(

🐕‍🦺 He's one of the few OCs I have who has a good relationship with his parents :]

🐕‍🦺 He's such a shithead in the like, /affectionate way, I love him.

🐕‍🦺 He works at GENT btw lol

🐙 This is Barley!(His name was chosen on purpose lol) He's Hunter's bio dad!

🐙 We love him! He's like, the best dad one could ask for!

🐙 He's the kinda dad to hand out full size candy bars during halloween and compliment EVERY SINGLE COSTUME, and like?? NOT COMMENT ON ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DRESS UP?? AND IF SOMEONE SAYS "Oh, I didn't dress up because I couldn't think of anything... :(" HE IMMEDIATELY SAID "That's alright! You went as the best thing you could, after all! Yourself! I'm so glad to have met you!"

🐙 He gave Hunter a manatee plush when he was like, two.

🐙 He always helped people out if they were having a rough time :)

🐙 Pure of heart, sweet of man <3

🐙 He wasn't a pushover, though! He could still stand up for himself!

🐙 He took Hunter out fishing a lot! Mostly to catch up on what was going on in his kid's life :)

🐙 He loved Hunter with all of his heart, bro, that man treated his son like a Goddamn PRINCE.

🐙 Even if he had a rough day, he'd always either sing Hunter to sleep or read him a bedtime story because "My son being happy makes me happy" :)

🐙 He'd be proud of Hunter...he'd be so proud...

🐙 His ghost still sorta watches over Hunter, man. HE JUST WANTS TO TELL HIM HOW FUCKING PROUD HE IS OF HIMMMM

🐙 BARLEY MAKES ME FUCKING CRY BRO

🪼 This is Marcy, Barley's wife!(And someone else's now, BUT WE'LL FUCKING GET TO HIM.)

🪼 Before Barley passed, she was the typical housewife! Heart of gold!

🪼 She always made sure to make extra bacon for breakfast because it was Barley's favorite and he'd always eat almost all of it :)

🪼 She's a seamstress! :D

🪼 Before Barley died, she always made sure to fix Hunter's manatee if it ever needed it :)

🪼 She was just...so sweet before everything happened...

🪼 Then she got the ill-fated letter. Barley was dead.

🪼 Their once happy, life-filled home now felt...empty. Soulless.

🪼 The day Barley died, a part of Marcy died too.

🪼 The loneliness was too much for her, so after a few months, to try to cope with the loneliness, she found someone and married him.(Again, WE'LL GET TO HIM. DON'T WORRY.)

🪼 Hunter was now just...another person in the house at this point. Marcy still loved him, but she couldn't handle spending much time with him because he acted too much like Barley for her to be able to stand it for too long. The wound was still too fresh.

🪼 She turns a blind eye to how her husband acts because...well...she doesn't want to be lonely anymore.

🪼 The house has a husband in it now, but it feels even more soulless now. There's a new husband and stepdaughter, but the life almost feels even MORE drained out of it.

🪼 Also like, now, anytime Hunter gets home, she measures him to keep track of how big he is. This is why Hunter doesn't really like hugs unless he trusts the person.

🦋 Rebecca. Ooh, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, where do I start with her?

🦋 She's Hunter's stepsister. Typical fare for stepsisters in fiction. Bratty, nosy, all of that.

🦋 She doesn't understand privacy too well. She'll just randomly walk into Hunter's room to whine about the latest drama she's had to deal with.

🦋 She's just...exhausting for Hunter to deal with.

🦋 She's younger than Hunter, so she gets pampered a fair amount.

🦋 She gets Hunter to do shit he doesn't want to by saying "Well, if you don't do this for me, I could always tell dad about how you're...well...y'know."

🦋 We don't LIKE HER in this FUCKING HOUSE!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

🦋 Very Rarity-like in the worst possible way.

🦋 Very particular about how everything goes.

🦋 She doesn't understand Hunter's attachment to his manatee plush. It's old, stained, and just overall sorta icky looking(It is covered in years of love and Hunter doesn't want to wash it because it means so much to him and it still sorta has the comforting smell of his bio dad on it so he doesn't want to lose that)

🦋 Trying to decide if I want her to get the Anastasia from the Cinderella sequels treatment or not lmao

🦋 Her dad treats her like a princess. She's very spoiled.

🦋 Speaking of the bitch...

⛓️ This is Bruce. Hunter's stepdad. I hate him so fucking much.

⛓️ He's practically the exact opposite of Barley.

⛓️ He's cold, callous, cruel, uncaring...

⛓️ Y'know that one song someone on youtube made of like. the three disney villains singing about their woes with their daughters?

⛓️ This one? He's basically just Lady Tremaine's verse.

⛓️ He tells everyone that "Hunter just stays in his room all the time because he's a recluse who doesn't love his family.", but he basically gives Hunter no real...reason to come out of his room, even going so far as to make the like, "Look who's finally come out of his room." comments whenever Hunter tries to come out.

⛓️ He basically only pays attention to Rebecca and Marcy, honestly.

⛓️ Holier than thou attitude basically.

⛓️ Unfortunately, unlike Barley, he's. actually REALLY FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC.

⛓️ Anytime Hunter has any friends over, he shoots him a suspicious look. Like, he always assumes Hunter brings them over to either open up about how he's treated or for like, sexual shit.

⛓️ SPEAKING OF HUNTER'S FRIENDS, HE DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING MANY DUE TO THIS BITCH. He vets every person Hunter seems interested in and nine times out of ten doesn't really let Hunter talk with them.

⛓️ He's such a piece of shit, I ACTUALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

⛓️ He literally doesn't allow Hunter to make ANY mistakes. If any are made, he reacts VERY FUCKING POORLY.

⛓️ HE'S WHY HUNTER HATES SURPRISE HIGH-FIVES.

⛓️ I FUCKING HATE HIM.

⛓️ I WANT HIS ASS DEAD.

⛓️ He literally just sees Hunter as a smudge on the family name.

⛓️ I WANT TO TEAR HIM APARTTTT RAHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🦅🦅🔥🔥

⛓️ If the law didn't exist, the INSTANT TOM HEARD ABOUT HOW THIS MF TREATS HUNTER, IT WOULD BE ON FUCKING SIGHT.

⛓️ Whenever Hunter stands up to him, he just laughs, knowing that it won't last long.

⛓️ Whenever Hunter gets more like...dead in personality in the story before he gets inked, THIS MF IS TO BLAME, RAAAAAGGHHH

This is who and what I have so far lol OKAY NOW I NEED TO POST THIS AND GO SHOWER IT'S ALREADY 2:38 PM RAAAHHH /silly

[twilekd]

#TWILEKD — an independent, private, and highly selective original character from the STAR WARS franchise. Please check out the carrd before following. Below 21* dni.

blogroll. @grandmcff (tarkin), @gunslingd (the ghoul)

CARRD. / PROMO. / PINTEREST. / VERSES.

* disclaimer: if I knew you before the 21+ rule you are fine to follow, but for new followers the 21+ is enforced.

I. This blog is private and follow backs may take me some time to do. I also tend to prefer a low follower count as I like having a clean dash, for it helps with my mental health and related. I ask also that if you are a personal / non-RP blog to not reblog my threads, as it messes up my notifs. Likes and asks however are totally fine! Onto other things my activity is very sporadic and I am normally mobile bound so I rarely get to my laptop. That aside on weekends I usually am not on Tumblr, as I'm out hiking, traveling or spending time with my partner. I have a life outside of Tumblr and do this for fun!!

II. No drama allowed. The block button exists for a reason, and it is something I use. If we break mutuals I will hardblock, if only because with how dysfunctional tumblr is it makes it easier than softblocking and doesn't cause any awkward refollowing on either side. I ask that if you are a bigot of any kind and fit general dni criteria to not follow me. I also refuse to write underage, incest and rape scenarios. Hate anons will be deleted, as will ones wanting to stir drama. Leave me out of it, or DM me personally if you have an issue.

III. I rarely use icons / fancy banners if only because I am mobile bound and things always look a bit off to me on it. I also rarely use fancy font / colored text for accessibility's sake. However I do use a mix of subscript, italic, bold and large text. I tend to prefer writing multi-paragraph replies but please, do not feel that you have to match my length nor my format! That being said sometimes it takes me a while to reply to threads due to issues with my hands, so some replies may take a little while to be responded to but know I rarely drop threads. I ask though to please not pester me for replies.

IV. Unless discussed prior all relationships are in their own universes. I ship with chemistry and do enjoy talking ooc about our muses, as it helps me get an idea of things and how our muses may (or may not) get along! On the topic of NSFW it is something I am not really interested in, but I am not opposed to it. Full blown NSFW will NOT BE WRITTEN ON THIS BLOG. So if that is all you are here for, then please leave. If we do end up getting to a point like that in a thread I ask we do a fade to black sort of thing.

** Little NSFW asks are fine, however I rarely reblog those. Thank you for respecting my opinion on this.

V. Hi! My name is Iggy and you may know me from my old Piett blog (admrl) or my old Tarkin blog (grcndmoffs). I have been in the Star Wars fandom / RPC for a few years, but only recently have returned to it. Truthfully Star Wars is a big comfort to me, and it is very nice to be back here again. Onto other things, my Discord is @cic8a if you wish to get into contact with me. I only ask that you tell me who you are if you add me so I know! My Tumblr IMs are open to all who may need anything or need someone to talk to, as is the anon feature. Just please do not abuse that feature, for I will turn it off if it is and that just ruins it for everyone.

VI. This being said onto triggers. I tag triggers as 'trigger /', and know that very dark and triggering content will be present on this blog. Mun does not equal muse, and I ask that if you EVER need anything tagged to please let me know. I tag everything I think could possibly upset someone, as I wish for my blog to be a safe spot for all. Thank you so much for reading this far. Ily

CREDITS.

mobile header - @/niixzee

carrd - @/giantstrength

icon border - @/carestuff

promo - @/supersources

banners - @/jessource

[nosonofcrouch]

| | Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry | | Slytherin House | | Bartemius Crouch Jnr. , | | interpreted by kettu.

@nosonofcrouch // sideblod to @lenientgaunt

– Sensitive viewers/readers will be advised to not follow this blog as there will be darker themes and content mentioned, such as physical and mental abuse. – I, the writer, is 28 and located in Northern Europe. – I won't interact with anyone under the age of 18. – This is strictly a hobby of mine and I am not obligated to immediately respond to threads or messages. – I have the right to explore and write a character in my own way, just like anyone else. – I will not partake in any out of character-drama that may ( but hopefully not ) occur. It simply doesn't interest me, in the slightest. – you may also find me here @narasnooze

** and to make things tad bit easier... Let's say Barty escaped McGonagall and Snape before Cornelius turned up with those kiss-starved dementors. Yes? Yes.

B A R T Y , – named after his father, Bartemius, is a very bright young man from the pure-blooded Crouch family. At age eleven, Barty becomes a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and is sorted into the Slytherin House.

Bartemius Jnr. does very well in school and studies a bit extra to get in the top of his classes. He even manages to get the best grades in his year. All this... in a desperate attempt to make his father acknowledge him and be proud. The older Bartemius is an incredibly strict and cold man who rarely spend time with his son, never congratulate– or show any sign of love and support. He is distant with his only child and no matter what young Barty does, it never seems to be enough.

In his first two years, Barty keeps to himself, as he is rather shy and inexperienced about friendships. However, in his third year, a boy a year older than him approaches him one day and they become friends. Regulus Black becomes a very important person in Barty's life and one of his favourite things is to watch his friend play Quidditch for their team, as Black is the Slytherin Seeker.

Barty is ( much to Bartemius' father's dislike ) invited over to the Black family for a couple of weeks during a summer break and he is instantly amazed and impressed by the noble family and their ways. They are welcoming, kind and seems genuinely interested in him and listens when he speaks. A lovely family, part from Regulus older brother... He find himself become very fond of Orion Black in particular. He certainly seemed like a true father, and Barty so wished he had someone like him at home.

The number of friends grow, and Barty is being brought along on their mayhem. They are cruel to other students and Barty begins to silently question his choices of friends, wishing he'd stayed behind with Regulus instead, who doesn't engage in such bullying of others. But the attention Barty has finally gotten is hard to let go off... And the dark arts pulled him in, bewitching him like a veala.

A few years later, he and Regulus are both invited to a very important and secretive gathering by Regulus parents. Both boys, very curious and intrigued, step inside and their lives are forever changed. He, the Dark Lord, is far greater than Bartemius could have ever imagined.

"We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror — Frank Longbottom — and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He Who-Must-Not-Be-Named —"

"Father, I didn't! I didn't, I swear it, Father, don't send me back to the Dementors... No! Mother, no! I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't know! Don't send me there, don't let him! I'm your son! I'm your son!"

"You are no son of mine! I have no son!"

...Fine.

Then he would become the worst of worst. He would become the most loyal, the most devoted follower to Lord Voldemort. He would become the very thing his father loathed. He would do anything his master asked of him. He would do all of it. He would give his very soul to the Dark Lord...

[thewordswewrite]

Lonely Is Our Lives

Chapter 3 - Shout at the Devil

Pairing | Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

!!VERY IMPORTANT A/N!! | I want to preface this by saying I DO NOT condone Billy’s actions throughout the series. I DO NOT condone his violence or abuse, ESPECIALLY against Lucas but also including Max and the others. At the time season two came out in 2017, nearly FIVE years ago at the time I'm writing this, I was very angry and frustrated at the world, resentful of a younger sibling, and disconnected from the people around me so I kind of latched onto Billy as a character and what he represented. I absolutely DID NOT understand what his actions against Lucas truly meant and I DID NOT register it as the racism it was. Knowing what I know now I've decided to write a fic where Billy is able to let go of some of his anger and have someone there to check him and his actions in order to set him on a better path. I wrote this for me as a bit of a redemption fic for both of us.

Playlist | Link | Chapter Three: Songs 9-12

Story Summary | One fateful 1983 night you narrowly escape death on Steve Harrington’s property while Barbara Holland is presumed dead. Left jaded and angry, you carry on towards your senior year in a haze of sex, drugs, and alcohol just to get through the day. But, when Billy Hargrove moves to Hawkins, Indiana during the fall of 1984 things get worse before they get better.

Chapter Summary | Your shift turns interesting when a certain someone shows up and you have a surprisingly serious talk. The week seemed like it was going to be uneventful but late Saturday night things begin to take a turn.

Story Warnings | explicit language, angst, abusive parents, smut 18+ minors DNI, heavy drug and alcohol usage, alcohol/drug abuse, implied physical abuse, injuries,

W/C | 3.8k

Taglist | @youcantbesirius , @xronniexo , @zzokks , @marihoneywk​ ,  @darlingjae ​

A/N | Honestly I was putting off writing this cause Saph leaves for college this week and I was sad and spending all my time with her but I finished it kinda fast once I started lol. I’m not leaving for school until September and now I have to be here all alone ;( Also Dacre has a poetry book apparently? -Smoe

|Masterlist|  |Chapter One|  |Chapter Two|  |Chapter Four|  |Chapter Five|

You stared absently out the windshield of your parked car as you smoked. You’d caved and bought another pack of Djarum Specials on your way to work, much to your annoyance. You tried to be on time today and you’d left with just enough time to step through the doors exactly as your shift started but, when you’d passed the gas station on main street, you couldn't help but pull in and pick yourself up a pack.

You felt bad for making Robin, your shift partner, run the store by herself while you sat and puffed your bad mood away. She was just a year younger than you but her generally shy demeanor made her feel far younger. You’d gotten close over the months you worked together and could confidently say you’d become friends. The occasional head nod in the hallways and stray rides home were all that occurred outside the walls of Record Time and though your encounters rarely left your place of employment, you talked almost nonstop when at work. Whether it was about the newest album releases, or why she stared at Heather Holloway’s ass a little longer than necessary, you two wouldn't shut up.

You knew that once you stepped inside she’d give you an earful about being late so you gathered your senses and exited your car. As you pushed inside the shop, your ears were met with the low thrum of bass and cocked your eyebrow at Robin who sat disparagingly at the counter.

You huffed out a laugh. “The Beatles? Really?”

“Wow, how nice of you to show up,” She deadpanned.

“I’m fifteen minutes late, relax! And I’m guessing Heather was here?”

Robin’s eyes bugged out and she grumbled. “Would you keep your voice down please! And maybe I just like Oh! Darling, ever think of that?”

“Oh my god, no one is even in here!” You dropped your bag behind the counter before hopping on top of it and facing Robin. “And The Beatles are literally your ‘I’m in love and feel hopeless’ band so don’t try that with me.”

Robin stared you down defiantly but gave in when you shot her an unimpressed look. “Yeah, she was here.” She picked at her chipped black nails and sighed.

“I figured as much.”

Robin had finally admitted to you that she was a lesbian when you very bluntly asked her as much while you were closing up one night a few months ago. You’d seen her staring at a girl who had very curly brown hair and a wide smile and had been browsing the pop section for about ten minutes. When she’d finally come to the register and placed down a Madonna album, a red-faced Robin stuttered through almost the entire transaction.

When you asked her about it at the end of your shift, her eyes welled up with tears immediately and she begged you not to say anything. After a very long conversation, you’d gotten home almost an hour past your curfew and received a two-week grounding but when you dropped Robin off at her house and she gave you an awkward hug over your center console, you knew the punishment you got from your father was worth it. Since then, she’d stopped all the tepidness and became your favorite work buddy. A work buddy you loved to gossip with.

“Rob, I have had an interesting past few days.” You smiled tiredly at your coworker.

Robin looked up conspiratorially. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“So, there's this new kid and-” You were cut off by the jingle of the front door, annoyed at the interruption. You schooled your face into a customer-worthy smile and hopped down from the counter. “Welcome to Record Time, anything… speak of the devil.”

In front of you stood a gloomy-looking Billy and his sister who looked around the store eagerly. Seemingly spotting what she was searching for, Billy’s sister walked off, leaving the three of you alone.

“This the new kid?” Robin guessed from behind you.

Billy’s eyes flicked over to Robin and he shot her a flirty grin. “Billy Hargrove.”

Robin grimaced. “Pleasure.” You laughed when Billy’s smile dropped and Robin walked somewhere into the back to avoid the boy.

Billy raised his eyebrows in question and crossed his arms. “Talking about me?”

You matched his haughty attitude and stood, hip cocked out to one side. “Actually, I was before you so rudely interrupted.”

Billy looked ready to respond when a long-since familiar sound of a tape hitting the floor cut him off. Billy’s face immediately grew tight with anger and he balled up his fists. “Hey, shitbird, you’ve only got enough for one so you break it you buy it.”

“It’s no big deal, Hargrove.” You tried to cool the situation but his anger simply redirected itself to you.

“Stay the fuck out of this,” Billy took a threatening step towards his sister but you quickly walked around the counter and stood in his way. “Move.”

“How about we go outside, hm?” Your face was stony and your tone left no room for argument. “I need a smoke break anyway.”

Billy’s gaze shifted from where it was locked on the redhead down to you and finally, he looked away, the tension in the room easing slightly. “Fine.”

You called out to tell Robin you were taking ten while keeping yourself between Billy and his sister. You led him outside and pulled out your freshly purchased smokes. Billy eyed your choice of nicotine dubiously and you gave him a dirty look.

“No wonder you smell like that all the time,” He commented, his words fogging around him in the chilled November air.

“Like what?” You asked, a challenging lilt to your voice as you burned a cigarette.

You waited as Billy took a puff of one of his Reds and smirked at you, “Like Christmas.”

A pang of sadness hit your heart and memories of your childhood flashed in your head. You closed your eyes and smiled dejectedly, leaning your weight against the building. “My mom loved Christmas.”

You couldn’t tell if it was seconds or minutes that went by but when Billy finally spoke your hands felt like ice and your shoulder had gone stiff with the cold.

“I hate it here.”

“Me too.” You let yourself sink into a squat and looked up at where Billy was facing you and resting against the wall.

When he spoke again, his words lost the edge he so proudly paraded with, instead exchanging it for a tone inked with an unintentional sorrow. “California was perfect. This hick town can’t even compare.” Billy flicked his cigarette away and turned from you.

“Why’d you guys move?” You attempted to sound non-threatening as you let your fingers play with the fallen leaves on the ground. It wasn’t like you to push for details but something about Billy’s cold exterior was intriguing and, if you were being honest, a bit too close to home. You focused on where your fingers scraped against the hard concrete and not on how hollow you felt.

Billy’s voice was tight with hatred. “Neil wanted a fresh start with his brand new family.”

For a moment you stayed silent, contemplating your next words but decided it was worth it. “You should be nicer to her,” You suggested as you stood up.

“Who? Maxine?” he asked incredulously.

“If that’s your sister’s name then yes.” You saw him work his jaw and you tilted your head slightly.

Billy sneered, “She’s not my sister.”

You put your hands on your hips. “Don’t you think she might hate this too?” Your tone was a little patronizing but you couldn't help it. You knew selfish.

He shook his head, looking away. “It’s her fault we’re even here.”

Tutting, you kicked at his foot. “Is that really true, though?” Once again you heard the jingle of the entrance and looked as Maxine walked out of the store, already reaching into her plastic bag to retrieve her cassette. She stopped and glanced up at the two of you but quickly walked past and got into Billy’s car. “My house is still free Saturday.” You offered.

Billy’s tongue darted out and he licked his lips, eyes dark. “ Saturday,” He nodded.

~ ~ ~

The basketball game had been a disaster. The team had come out excited and ready to win but as the minutes ticked by the boys began to lose their coordination and were fumbling so badly that they were down twenty by the third quarter. Most of the team was angry by the end, shoving and baring their teeth at the loss. Billy took it the worst; he shouted and balled jerseys in his fists, nearly throwing Tommy H. to the floor when he made a snide comment.

You were quick to run up to Steve to comfort him after the team’s performance.

“Sorry about the game,” You smiled sympathetically.

Steve was rubbing the sweat out of his hair with a towel and shrugged. “It’s alright. I didn’t think we’d lose this bad but it’s whatever,” Steve took a swig of his water bottle and grabbed his bag. “We getting food?”

“Yeah, let me just talk to Billy for a sec,” You smiled wickedly at the horrified expression that comment earned you. You and Billy obviously weren’t close but you still wanted to try and comfort him about losing.

“Please do not talk to me about him. I’ll meet you at KFC.” He shoved you lightly and walked out the gym entrance.

Looking around, you tried to spot a head of dirty blonde curls but were left practically spinning in circles. You caught a glance of Tommy still packing his things and figured he would know.

“Tom!” You called out and the freckled boy looked up. “You seen Billy?”

Tommy’s face morphed into a scowl and he continued to pack up his belongings. “He left as soon as he was done bitching at all of us for losing.”

“Thanks anyway,” You shrugged, leaving to meet Steve.

It was annoying that he’d left without even acknowledging you but now it was nearing ten and you weren't even sure Billy was going to show at all. You stood on the cold tile of your kitchen floor and turned on the stove in preparation for your dinner. Since your hookup plans had fallen through, you decided a box of Kraft mac and cheese would have to be your company for the night. Huffing in boredom, you grabbed a stool from the island and dragged it over in front of the stove so you could quite literally watch water boil. You sat there and let your feet dangle and thump against the leg of the stool in rhythm while steam began to rise above the pot.

The house was uncommonly quiet with your father away; the TV was off and there was no yelling about everything you’d done wrong that day. Your father took weekly trips up to Chicago to get supplies for the auto shop as he was unwilling to pay the additional delivery fee. This meant that the weekend was the only time you had to yourself. You’d given your Saturday to Billy and he hadn’t even bothered to show up.

Finally, as you watched with glassy, unfocused eyes, the water began to boil and you ripped into the cardboard of the box, took out the cheese packet, and poured the uncooked pasta into the water. Just as you finished setting the timer, a knock at the door startled you. Glancing at the stove clock, you saw a flashing nine fifty-three and rolled your eyes. Billy would show up this late for a screw. You unlocked the deadbolt and pulled open the door to reveal an abused-looking Billy who refused to meet your eyes.

“What the fuck happened to you?” You blurted, unable to control your curiosity.

Billy huffed and pushed past you into the house. “You got a bathroom?”

You looked at him concerned but pointed to the first door down the hall and watched as he walked inside, the sound of the sink following after him. You hesitated to step forward before finally committing and following Billy into the bathroom. You stood, hip against the doorframe, and resolved yourself to not tiptoe around the situation.

“Who’d you piss off?” Billy was attempting to clean the gash on his cheek but hesitated at your question.

He took a second to glance at you in the mirror but quickly looked away and continued to dab at his face. “ You’re the one who told me to ask Steve where you lived.”

“Steve has never once won a fight and you look like you lost,” You pulled an unimpressed face and sighed. “It’s okay that you lost just-”

“Leave it alone,” He warned, eyes fiery, but you reached towards him anyway.

“Give me that.” You snatched the bloody washcloth out of his hand as he turned around to face you but, before he had the chance to move, you stepped forward and trapped him against the sink. Billy could’ve easily gotten out from where your hips held his against the ceramic counter but he let you hold him there.

Slowly, you ascended onto your toes and reached past his shoulder to open the mirror behind him. You reached farther and farther until your face was mere inches from Billy’s and when you chanced a look at his face, his eyes were already locked onto your own causing you to let out a harsh breath in surprise. When the air hit his neck, Billy shivered, goosebumps rising along his skin. You broke your gaze and grabbed the rubbing alcohol, leaning back on your heels and effectively granting Billy his personal space back.

“You better know what you’re doing,” He grumbled.

“Relax. I know how to clean a wound,” You reassured, pouring some of the liquid onto a clean portion of the cloth. You took part in a stare-down as Billy leaned away from you and you raised your eyebrows at him in expectation. A few seconds elapsed until Billy conceded, letting himself sag and you to raise your hand to his face. You took his jaw in your unoccupied hand and turned his head to better reveal the cut to you before pressing the alcohol-soaked towel flat onto his cheek, nearly cupping it. Billy hissed at the contact and you smiled softly. “Sorry.”

Billy was uncharacteristically quiet as you searched the rest of his face for more injuries, from which you noticed a bruise blooming around one of his eyes as well as his throat. You took a step back from him and threw the soiled cloth into the sink. You knew how to make quick work of cuts by now since that fateful night at Steve’s, and deftly applied butterfly bandages across his cheek to hold it together in an attempt to avoid scaring. Though it wouldn't diminish his attractiveness, you were sure he wouldn’t want a reminder of the fight. Finishing up with his face, you grabbed his hands from where they hung limp and ran your fingers over the unblemished skin of his knuckles. He didn’t fight back.

“Billy, what happened? Who did this to-” Once again he cut you off but this time it was with the rough plushness of his lips as he kissed you.

His arm found itself around your back, holding your waist softly against him as he pressed into you while his other hand simultaneously fisted into your hair and urged you closer, the contrast of his actions almost confused you. Most of the time he was unnecessarily rough and crass, never letting anyone close to him but just then in the bathroom, he let you cradle his face and patch his wounds with little complaint. Now he let you take charge within the kiss while still keeping you right where he wanted you. It seemed the only time he knew the rules of give and take was during moments like these. Billy’s thumb was caressing your cheek softly as he bit your lip, and you moaned into his mouth. The moment was broken though when you suddenly heard the sizzling of water spilling over onto the stove, sending you to hurry into the kitchen.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You quickly moved the pot off the burner and turned down the flame. The pasta was essentially mush and water, now sitting in small puddles around your stove. You ran a ragged hand into your hair and groaned.

Billy had exited the bathroom and walked up behind you with a towel. “How about you leave this to soak up and we go to your room?”

You went to shoot him an annoyed look but when you caught sight of his flushed appearance,  you couldn’t help but smile. You haphazardly used the towel to soak up as much water as possible and quickly grab Billy’s hand to lead him upstairs.

The journey was short and you soon found yourself underneath Billy on your bed as he kissed you. He held himself above you with his forearms so your mouth was never too far from his own. As you kissed, your fingers scrambled down to your sweatpants and undid the knot at the top in order to slide them down. Once you had them down and off your body, you moved to the button and zipper of Billy’s jeans. As you pushed them over his ass, Billy trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. His hand found its way under your shirt and began to tug it up to grant him better access to your chest.

Your hands shot up and grabbed his own to rip it away from your body. “No, leave my shirt on,” You ordered.

Billy looked confused, his eyebrows pulled together and mouth agape. “Why? I wanna see.”

You stared at him, helpless until you devised a challenge. “I'll tell you… if you tell me who beat your face in.”

Billy shook his head and went back down to kiss you. “No deal,” he murmured against your mouth. He pulled his own shirt over his head and finished kicking his jeans off so you were both staring back at each other, him clad in nothing but underwear and you in your shirt.

With both hands, Billy found the elastic of your underwear and shimmied them down your sides until they were off and discarded to the floor. You let your legs drop open as his fingers ran along your core and slowly dipped inside. The stretch was nothing, but the way he curled his fingers had your mouth dropping open in a silent moan. His thumb simultaneously circled your clit and he captured your mouth in a kiss, licking into it as he got you off with his fingers. Your pleasure climbed and you felt your nails dig into Billy’s back as his fingers kept a swift pace.

“Billy, please, ” You begged as you chased your orgasm.

Billy’s fingers slowed, much to your annoyance, and your eyes flew open. “You close?” He purred in your ear and you nodded hastily. “I want to hear your voice, baby.”

“Yes! Please, Billy, I need you!” You nearly sobbed when he finally began to move faster and urged you on with whispered praise into your ear.

You came with a loud, broken moan, shuddering as you came down. You realized your fingers had been coiled into Billy’s curls until you let go, causing him to wince at the release of pressure. You inhaled deeply but barely had time to catch your breath before you heard the crinkle of condom foil. Soon after,  Billy was plunging his cock into you and holding your hips with a bruising grip.

With each sharp thrust, you zoned out in bliss to the sound of his skin slapping against your own. Unable to do more than grip at your sheets, you arched into him to try and find your sweet spot that would have you seeing stars, whining when you couldn’t find it.

“You feel so good for me,” Billy vocalized through stuttered moans. He grabbed one of your legs and threw it over his shoulder to get a better angle and when he did, you gasped. He was now relentlessly thrusting into you in a way that had you cumming on his cock in seconds.

Billy though wasn’t done and tears pricked at your eyes in ecstasy. He uncontrollably pumped into you until he himself was cumming as well. He pulled you to him and took your mouth in a kiss, all teeth and urgency while he came down from his own high.

When he finally let you go, your chest heaved in air and sweat cooled on your body, making you shiver and pull up the blankets. Billy bent over at the end of your bed and took his cigarettes out of his back pocket.

He was about to put them away when you cleared your throat. “Lemme bum one?”

“This gonna be a theme?” He chuckled and threw you the box along with his lighter.

“It will as long as you keep giving them to me,” You smiled with one of his smokes hanging off your lips and lit it.

You watched lazily as he dressed, searching around your floor for his previously discarded clothes and putting them on with deft hands. He stood in your mirror and fixed his hair, curling some of the pieces around his finger until they were back to their original ringlet shape.

“You want to be a little more gentle next time?” He gestured to his wild hair but you only laughed wickedly.

“You want to be a little more gentle next time?” You parroted back at him and he rolled his eyes, sighing at you. He stood awkwardly, fully clothed and watching you, which left you to break the silence. “I’ll walk you out.”

Billy nodded and you twisted yourself off the bed to stand on unsure legs, slowly walking over to him. He let you lead him downstairs and to the front door, stopping in front of it so that your eyes could once again scan over his injuries. You worried your lip between your teeth but decided to leave it alone for the night.

You opened the door and gestured outside with an open hand. “Well, it’s been lovely, California but I think this is where we say goodnight.” You smiled and he returned it before walking out. You locked the door behind him.

With a sigh, you looked at the evidence of your failed dinner scattered across the floor and remembered the bloody mess in your bathroom. What the fuck happened tonight?

[zuko-always-lies]

ATLA AU Idea which is Basically “Azula Raises Katara for Several Years”

I’ve had this idea kicking around my head for months, and, since I have no intention of writing it, I figure I might as well post it. To be clear, the premise of this fanfic is “Azula, Katara, and Sokka get traumatized in ways they weren’t in canon, but the events that traumatize them potentially help lead to a better outcome in the long-term,” so be prepared for rough sailing.

This idea is very much inspired by all the “Katara gets kidnapped young and raised within the Fire Nation royal family” fanfics, which I think can be excellent if done with care. However, in a situation where Katara and Azula develop a relationship when they are young, the natural tendency is to make Katara the “motherly” or parental one, and I wanted to turn that on its head. I also wanted to explore some of the possible implications of Azula taking on adult sized responsibilities as a child and of the perverse ways that power differentials can influence things. I also wanted to explore some of the ways that Azula’s commitment to duty and responsibility can be a positive thing. Another ~2000 or so words under the cut.

The premise is that, shortly after Zuko gets banished, Katara gets captured by the Southern Raiders as the last Southern Water Tribe waterbender and brought back to Caldera and presented as a trophy to Ozai. Ozai’s first reaction is to have her executed, but fortunately Azula is also present in the throne room. For reasons which Azula doesn’t entirely understand herself but which definitely have something to do with her guilt over what happened to Zuko, Azula decides to intervene, despite the risks involved. However, not being Zuko, she manages to do this without provoking Ozai, through convincing him that Katara is more valuable alive as a trophy, a symbol, and a plaything than she is dead. Ozai doesn’t really care that much, so he pawns Katara off to Azula and basically forgets about her, accidentally using language that implies to Azula that Katara and taking care of Katara is now Azula’s responsibility. Azula is at an age where she’s started to take her responsibilities and duties with deadly seriousness.

Katara doesn’t know what to make of this all.  She’s been severely traumatized by being kidnapped and torn from her family and culture and by having her life threatened by Ozai. She’s aware that Azula saved her life, but the language Azula used to in order to do so sounds warped and screwed up to Katara, who is unaware that Azula had to say what she said in order to manipulate Ozai.  Katara noticed that Azula seemed a little nervous when she talked to Ozai, but Katara doesn’t initially know how risky and dangerous what Azula did was.

Again, Azula takes her responsibilities with deadly seriousness. So, when it becomes her responsibility to take care of Katara, Azula is determined to do the best possible job, even though she’s 11 and Katara is also 11. If there were any responsible adults present, they would intervene and talk to Azula about how awful an idea this is, but there aren’t any left.  In any case, Katara’s waterbending abilities make it so she has to be kept under some kind of supervision, Azula is perceptive enough to worry that Katara might be mistreated if she got fostered out, and in any case Azula is convinced she can do a better job than any foster family.

Azula is a badly abused 11 year old who grew up indoctrinated in an absolutely toxic ideology. She’s never really seen good parenting in her life. The idea of her trying to parent should be terrifying. Yet she’s aware that Ursa didn’t do the best job with her, and since Katara isn’t a “monster” Azula sees no reason to replicate Ursa’s behavior. Azula believes the way that Ozai treats her is absolutely justified, even though she has some knowledge of its negative effects on her, but since Katara isn’t a princess who has immense duties to her nation and family, Azula sees no reason to treat her that way. In fact, Azula is aware of ignorance about parenting, and tries to read as much about parenting as she can. She also reads as much about the water tribes as she can in order to try to understand Katara better.

In terms of being a “parent,” Azula is overall a little standoffish, absent, and demanding.  She doesn’t need to directly look after Katara’s physical care(she has servants for that), but she has to look after Katara’s emotional needs, her education, and her overall care. As a temporary measure, she arranges that Katara sleep on a cot in Azula’s room because she’s not sure where to put her, and this arrangement becomes permanent. This means Azula and Katara usually eat together, since Azula has taken most of her meals in her room, but Azula is very busy with her duties, training, and education, so they don’t spend much time together in a typical day. Azula has Katara officially declared a servant(but one who only reports to Azula) in order to regularize her status and allow Katara to draw a salary(most of which Azula holds in escrow for when Katara comes of age), but Azula only rarely asks Katara to do work; Katara had far more chores back in the Southern Water Tribe. On the other hand, Azula demands that Katara work hard in her education and on practicing her waterbending. Katara is too old to be sent to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, but Azula obtains tutors for her, in addition to getting her whatever waterbending scrolls she can and trying to obtain the best possible bending coaches for Katara’s waterbending, sometimes even stepping in herself to try to coach Katara.

Azula is aware that Katara wants to return home, but she doesn’t think that Ozai would ever allow that, and, in any case, Azula is an imperialist who thinks Katara is better off being “civilized” in the Fire Nation than she would be back in her ignorant and “savage” home.  A large portion of Katara’s education is intended to “civilize” her. Azula doesn’t have firm ideas of where adult Katara will fit into Fire Nation society but plays with the idea of marrying her into the nobility or of making her governor of the conquered Water Tribes. So overall, Azula does a shockingly good job as “parent” given she’s an abused 11 year child acting within the toxic norms of the Fire Nation, but that still means she does a bad job, and her relationship with Katara remains pretty toxic.

Ozai and the rest of the court have some awareness of what’s going on, but they honestly don’t care as long Azula continues to be an exemplary princess, fulfills her duties, and continues to exceed expectations. Some members of the court even find Azula’s personal commitment to “civilizing” a savage to be inspiring. However, the burden of taking care of Katara means that Azula is under even more pressure than she is in canon, with the good news being that Azula has something more of a support network than in canon. Katara provides some measure of support, and in this AU Azula never has the energy to really push Ukano’s political career forward, and so Mai never has to leave, so Ty Lee also stays put.

Katara, again, is severely traumatized by her experiences, and to a degree feels helpless. She knows that she can’t escape and go back home. She’s resentful of Azula and particularly of the efforts to cut Katara off from her culture, but at the same time Katara ends internalizing some Fire Nation culture. Yet after a while Katara gets a sense of how toxic the environment is at the Royal Court, and she soon(after overhearing a conversation between Mai and Ty Lee which was supposed to be confidential) learns what happened to Zuko and realizes how much Azula risked in order to protect Katara, and Katara can’t help but feel intense gratitude to Azula for it. Azula also gradually becomes more and more respectful of Water Tribe culture, and Katara deeply appreciates the emphasis Azula places on Katara mastering waterbending.  Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee are also the only people in the Fire Nation who are ever consistently kind to Katara, and Katara ends up deeply bonding with each one of them, although the resulting relationships are not the healthiest. Katara eventually starts to develop a sense of how each one of them has been deeply victimized by Fire Nation culture. Azula goes to great lengths to hide her own struggles and pain from Katara, but Katara spends a lot of time with her and sometimes notices. Several years in, Katara notices some positive changes in Azula and begins to play with the idea that she can positively influence Azula so that Azula will be become a kinder and anti-imperialist Firelord.

Azula thinks Katara’s waterbending is the coolest thing ever(well, aside from firebending at least), a sentiment shared to a lesser degree by Mai and Ty Lee. Azula also thinks that learning to fight is vital, so she brings Katara along for her spars with Mai and Ty Lee. Katara makes rapid progress, particularly due to her access to many waterbending scrolls. As a result of this, and of Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee not separating, all four girls end up being significantly better combatants than they were in canon.

Mai and Ty Lee have complex reactions to Katara, but they eventually come to like and even love her. There is an element of resentment present because Katara takes up so much of the ever busy Azula’s time, but Azula forces her friends to spend time with Katara, and they end up bonding with her.  Katara’s empathy and compassion works in her favor here, especially since she rapidly develops into one of the few people who sees and appreciates them for who they are. Mai and Ty Lee also find Katara’s waterbending to be an interesting and intriguing method of combat, soon come to respect Katara’s budding combat skills, and, as people deeply unhappy with their own places in society, they find Katara’s stories of life at the south pole to be interesting. Mai has issues with Katara being a little too “motherly,” but on the other hand appreciates that Katara pays attention to Mai’s actual desires and needs.  Ty Lee sometimes finds Katara to be a little too similar to her for comfort, but also at the same time appreciates Katara’s caring side and the way she’s not reluctant to give her positive attention. Frequently Azula is too busy to join her friends, so Katara, Ty Lee, and Mai end up hanging out together. Freaks and outsiders stick together.

Azula, through her research into the Water Tribes, personal experience with Katara, and interest in Katara’s waterbending, begins to subtly yet strongly move in anti-imperialist directions and doubt Fire Nation ideology, but her transformation has scarcely begun by the time Book 1 begins. She does benefit from better relationships with her friends, though, and Katara gives her some emotional support. Meanwhile, to a lesser degree Mai and Ty Lee have had their own doubts develop about imperial ideology.

Azula tends to see her relationship with Katara mainly in terms of responsibility and duty, but she ultimately comes to fiercely love Katara.

Zuko and Iroh do their things, just like in canon.  They receive vague reports about Katara’s presence in court, but they don’t understand the significance of them.

Sokka gets badly traumatized by losing his sister and believes her to be killed by the Fire Nation. Hakoda, Bato, and the water tribe warriors also still leave to fight the Fire Nation. Sokka is absolutely dedicated to seeking vengeance on the Fire Nation, and when he accidently defrosts Aang, he sees an opportunity.

Book 1 largely plays out the same, with minor changes. I think an interesting one is that Suki ends up joining a badly understrength Team Avatar and temporally leaving her warriors behind in order to aid Avatar Kyoshi’s reincarnation with the fulfillment of his destiny.

Book 2 opens with Azula being sent to capture Zuko and Iroh. Mai and Ty Lee tag along, in part with the hope of making sure Zuko is captured without being harmed, and Azula decides to bring Katara too rather than leave her alone in Caldera.  However, the operation goes south, and Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and Katara soon find themselves hunting the Avatar. Katara’s loyalties are about to be tested like never before…Meanwhile, Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee all have seeds of anti-imperialism growing within them, but what will it take for these seeds to blossom and give fruit? Meanwhile, Azula grapples with not only her canon trauma but also the trauma she experienced through her parentification.